Viability: mostly its there, there are a few sort of broken bits? if you fight the bandits and then turn around it just auto cuts to you having given the griffin water and making it your friend which doesn't make sense? maybe this is because of the variables not resetting when you go back to the start?
Presentation: It's chill, I'm not sure your current page is communicating much about the story or setting. I'm also cautious of your lack of capital letters. Without them it becomes more difficult for the player to follow your writing and I don't really see a narrative or aesthetic reason to not use them. It may just make the game harder to read.
Theme: I like the vibe! It could be nice to have a route where you don't save the Griffin to emphasis more that your kindness does matter? up to you!
Engagement: It's highly engaging! I like that my choices matter :) it makes me care about my player and also the griffin!
Viability: Game is playable from beginning to end. I think the affection being a number you need to raise is cool but I think it would look nicer in a separate box rather than just in the text.
Presentation: The rules were pretty straightforward. I do wish there were a few more options to choose from.
Theme: Theming is fun. Since the game is not very dialogue heavy I really think it would benefit from images.
Engagement: Entertaining. I love that you got a chance to name the griffin. I always like little befriending animal games.
Very cute, short, wholesome game that reminds me of the example Twine game Space Frog! Sometimes keeping it short and sweet is ok and I think it works here but more could be added if you wish.
Viability: Definitly has a start, middle, and end!
Presentation: Very vivid descriptions, could perhaps benefit from illustrations if u have the time.
Theme: Love the story! Love the theme! Very wholesome. Would play this if I need a feel-good game.
Engagement: I felt invested in my choices, but perhaps some more options to make the griffin feel better when you make a bad choice, even if for rp or personal satisfaction purposes? When I accidentally spilt the water and made their affliction worse I felt so so bad- like when you accidentially step on your pets foot and have to hug them and apologize for an hour straight.
Viability: There is a defined beginning and end, and I like having the option to restart to try something different. I agree with the comment talking about how having the affection show up as a number sort of taking me out of the immersion, so written descriptions of the griffin's reactions to your actions would be cool, so you have a feeling on whether or not you're doing well, without having to be explicitly told.
Presentation: I'm not sure if having the action options pop up after the main text does any favors? I think it's fine to have all the text show up together. Overall I think having more dialogue would be beneficial, for the sake of overall storytelling and immersion, and also for us to get to know the griffin we're making friends with.
Theme: is very clear! I think the color palette for the most part works well, I personally would change the border color from a gray (which is a very similar value to the teal) to something else (maybe a much darker version of that teal, just as an example, any significant change in value, lighter or darker, I think would look better). Also changing the color of the hover text would be good to do too! I also think it'd be good to add more dialogue elaborating on the griffin altogether, how it looks, the actions it performs, how it's feeling, etc., so we feel a more personal/realistic connection to the creature we are supposed to want to help. But overall I think the theme is very sweet :)
Engagement: I think having more options, and more text (exposition, more vivid descriptions of the environment and situation) would help with overall attention-keeping and replayability (a curiosity to *want* to get more endings).
This is really fun, I love the concept! I thought the ending where the griffin finds you pathetic was really funny. There are some typos throughout (two on the first page) and I found ran into an issue with the game looping back to the start, where the affection of the griffin doesn't reset so if you try to continue playing in a loop it will rapidly send you back to the ending that you already got no matter what you do. But I think this is working really well. I think you should make the affection score a different color or font from the rest of the text so it can be easily distinguished.
-viability; i think having the affection show up as a number feels very mechanical and i think having an image of the griffin showing that its affection towards you has increased could make it a lot more compelling.
-presentation; i think some kind of visible affection element will make the game more compelling. i feel like having more dialogue around the griffin to give some kind of understanding about what the right course of action might be may help. since it feels a bit random with how its set up now and like i could just replay to get the good ending by picking the choices i might have not picked the first time instead of thinking more critically about what choice im making, which feels like its important in a choice based game. i'd also recommend spell checking all your text that appears in the game.
-theme; its really simple, which i think works well for this. i like the font color you picked. i think it'd be cool if you can figure out how to change the text color of the links players have already clicked since they pull me out of your general aesthetic vision.
-engagement; i think i find myself wanting more from this, since the core loop is really simple, but i don't feel like any of the writing around the choices really strengthens or informs those choices. i think this can easily become really compelling though :0
Viability - doing well so far! One major thing I noticed is that once the game starts over it doesn't reset the affection variable, so you are automatically best friends with the griffin as soon as you start to interact with it.
Presentation: I would recommend proofreading for spelling/grammatical errors, but other than that things are solid! I also think you should potentially change the color of links that have already been visited.
Theme - I like the colors, feels like the sky, which fits well. Styling the affection variable somehow would look really nice.
Engagement - I was engaged! Could easily be longer/have more to do; maybe different levels of friendship with the griffin as affection goes up before best friend?
Comments
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Viability: mostly its there, there are a few sort of broken bits? if you fight the bandits and then turn around it just auto cuts to you having given the griffin water and making it your friend which doesn't make sense? maybe this is because of the variables not resetting when you go back to the start?
Presentation: It's chill, I'm not sure your current page is communicating much about the story or setting. I'm also cautious of your lack of capital letters. Without them it becomes more difficult for the player to follow your writing and I don't really see a narrative or aesthetic reason to not use them. It may just make the game harder to read.
Theme: I like the vibe! It could be nice to have a route where you don't save the Griffin to emphasis more that your kindness does matter? up to you!
Engagement: It's highly engaging! I like that my choices matter :) it makes me care about my player and also the griffin!
-Cassius
Viability: Game is playable from beginning to end. I think the affection being a number you need to raise is cool but I think it would look nicer in a separate box rather than just in the text.
Presentation: The rules were pretty straightforward. I do wish there were a few more options to choose from.
Theme: Theming is fun. Since the game is not very dialogue heavy I really think it would benefit from images.
Engagement: Entertaining. I love that you got a chance to name the griffin. I always like little befriending animal games.
Very cute, short, wholesome game that reminds me of the example Twine game Space Frog! Sometimes keeping it short and sweet is ok and I think it works here but more could be added if you wish.
Viability: Definitly has a start, middle, and end!
Presentation: Very vivid descriptions, could perhaps benefit from illustrations if u have the time.
Theme: Love the story! Love the theme! Very wholesome. Would play this if I need a feel-good game.
Engagement: I felt invested in my choices, but perhaps some more options to make the griffin feel better when you make a bad choice, even if for rp or personal satisfaction purposes? When I accidentally spilt the water and made their affliction worse I felt so so bad- like when you accidentially step on your pets foot and have to hug them and apologize for an hour straight.
Overall: Very fun. Would name my griffin Peter.
Viability: There is a defined beginning and end, and I like having the option to restart to try something different. I agree with the comment talking about how having the affection show up as a number sort of taking me out of the immersion, so written descriptions of the griffin's reactions to your actions would be cool, so you have a feeling on whether or not you're doing well, without having to be explicitly told.
Presentation: I'm not sure if having the action options pop up after the main text does any favors? I think it's fine to have all the text show up together. Overall I think having more dialogue would be beneficial, for the sake of overall storytelling and immersion, and also for us to get to know the griffin we're making friends with.
Theme: is very clear! I think the color palette for the most part works well, I personally would change the border color from a gray (which is a very similar value to the teal) to something else (maybe a much darker version of that teal, just as an example, any significant change in value, lighter or darker, I think would look better). Also changing the color of the hover text would be good to do too! I also think it'd be good to add more dialogue elaborating on the griffin altogether, how it looks, the actions it performs, how it's feeling, etc., so we feel a more personal/realistic connection to the creature we are supposed to want to help. But overall I think the theme is very sweet :)
Engagement: I think having more options, and more text (exposition, more vivid descriptions of the environment and situation) would help with overall attention-keeping and replayability (a curiosity to *want* to get more endings).
This is really fun, I love the concept! I thought the ending where the griffin finds you pathetic was really funny. There are some typos throughout (two on the first page) and I found ran into an issue with the game looping back to the start, where the affection of the griffin doesn't reset so if you try to continue playing in a loop it will rapidly send you back to the ending that you already got no matter what you do. But I think this is working really well. I think you should make the affection score a different color or font from the rest of the text so it can be easily distinguished.
-viability; i think having the affection show up as a number feels very mechanical and i think having an image of the griffin showing that its affection towards you has increased could make it a lot more compelling.
-presentation; i think some kind of visible affection element will make the game more compelling. i feel like having more dialogue around the griffin to give some kind of understanding about what the right course of action might be may help. since it feels a bit random with how its set up now and like i could just replay to get the good ending by picking the choices i might have not picked the first time instead of thinking more critically about what choice im making, which feels like its important in a choice based game. i'd also recommend spell checking all your text that appears in the game.
-theme; its really simple, which i think works well for this. i like the font color you picked. i think it'd be cool if you can figure out how to change the text color of the links players have already clicked since they pull me out of your general aesthetic vision.
-engagement; i think i find myself wanting more from this, since the core loop is really simple, but i don't feel like any of the writing around the choices really strengthens or informs those choices. i think this can easily become really compelling though :0
Viability - doing well so far! One major thing I noticed is that once the game starts over it doesn't reset the affection variable, so you are automatically best friends with the griffin as soon as you start to interact with it.
Presentation: I would recommend proofreading for spelling/grammatical errors, but other than that things are solid! I also think you should potentially change the color of links that have already been visited.
Theme - I like the colors, feels like the sky, which fits well. Styling the affection variable somehow would look really nice.
Engagement - I was engaged! Could easily be longer/have more to do; maybe different levels of friendship with the griffin as affection goes up before best friend?